Musk & His Haters Be Damned, I'm Not Selling My Tesla

In Defense of Tesla Owners 

Look, I get it 

Every time Elon Musk tweets something wild—like, say, comparing hard-working civil servants to genocidal gas chamber workers, taking a chainsaw to social security benefits, suggesting we colonize Mars with only crypto-paying technocrat libertarians, or whatever his latest unhinged rant is—my inbox lights up. “You still driving that Tesla? You cool with that guy?” Let’s pump the brakes on this. We've asked the question, "Can you Love Tesla and Hate Musk?" The answer is, was, and will continue to be "Yes." Owning a Tesla doesn’t mean I support Musk or his politics. I didn’t sign up for a cult when I bought this car. I signed up for a sweet ride that doesn’t guzzle gas. That’s it. Full stop.

Mission  

Tesla’s whole deal is ditching fossil fuels for cleaner transportation and renewable energy. This didn’t suddenly become irrelevant because Musk decided to play DOGE lord. The planet’s still cooking, oil still has its greasy fingers in our energy policies, and I’d rather not choke on smog, thanks. Musk’s politics might’ve taken a hard right into Crazytown, but the physics of climate change didn’t RSVP to that party. Tesla’s mission matters, and it’s bigger than one guy’s midlife crisis meltdown. 

           

My hatred of Musk's antics is not greater than my desire to mitigate climate change.

Musk is not Tesla 

Newsflash: Elon isn’t even the whole Tesla enchilada. He’s just one of 125,000 people who have an active Tesla work badge. Sure, he’s the loudmouth at the top, but he only owns about 13% of the company. That means if enough shareholders vote to remove him, he's gone. So when you’re side-eyeing me for rolling up in my Model Y, just know I’m not exactly bankrolling his next X tirade about the woke mind virus, free speech, or whatever.  

           

I’m supporting a massive team of Tesla engineers, designers, and workers, many of whom roll their eyes at Musk as much as you do.

Vandalism Isn't The Answer

Apparently, some righteous warriors think keying a Tesla or smashing a window is a noble protest against Musk. Real genius move, punish the car owner who’s just trying to get to work without burning dinosaur juice. And, where do you think that damaged Tesla is likely to go for service? To a Tesla service center obviously. And that means that Tesla will receive revenue for that transaction (even if it's from the owner's insurance company). So, your vandalism is actually a move of financial support for Tesla. I know that's not what you wanted. So chill and try not to force your ideals onto other people through terrorism. That's the sort of fascist action that might cause people of your ilk to get upset. If you want to peacefully protest at a Tesla store, go for it, but the line clearly stops at destruction of property.

Here's another idea: if you're thinking about vandalizing a Tesla, maybe you should talk to some owners about why they drive it, their goals, and maybe you'd see that you have many things in common with them. And guess what, even if you don't, it doesn't mean that you get to damage their property.

Personal Finances are Personal

You don't get to tell me I "have to" get a new car. Cars aren’t cheap. I didn’t drop a small fortune on this thing just to trade it in because the CEO said something spicy or some punk with a grudge and a spray can thinks "swasticar" is a super clever insult. Whether you’re cruising in a Cybertruck that looks like a Halo prop, a sensible Model 3, or even a Prius with a “Coexist” bumper sticker, most of us can’t afford to swap vehicles every time the political winds shift. And even if you’re some trust-fund baller who buys cars like I buy socks, that’s a dumb way to virtue signal.

The Alternatives?

Here’s another fun fact: if you dug into the personal lives and politics of most Fortune 500 CEOs, you’d probably need a shower and a stiff drink afterward. These people aren’t exactly your BFF material—greedy, out-of-touch, maybe even low-key psychopathy. Musk isn’t special in that regard; he’s just the one with a megaphone and zero filter. The rest of them are quietly yachting with shady billionaires while we’re none the wiser.

Nothing Compares To Tesla

But here’s the clincher, the real reason I’m not selling my Tesla: I freaking love this thing. The tech is bananas. Full Self-Driving is (finally) getting really good. The charging network is unmatched. Try finding another EV with Tesla's range, performance, cost, and a network with even half as many locations—it doesn't exist (at least not in the US). I’m not ditching an EV that I love for some clunky alternative just because Elon’s out there cosplaying Tony Stark with a dose of conspiracy theorist or because some edgelord thinks I’m the enemy because of my ride. I don't have to defend my purchase with an "I bought this before Elon went crazy" bumper sticker (but I understand if you want to). My reasons are my own and I would still buy the same Tesla vehicle today. Sorry, not sorry haters; this Tesla’s staying in my garage. In a few years perhaps there'll be a worthy competitor to consider.